Computer Complications

[Bravo]

For me and my brother it was our mom taking us to frabic stores. Sooo boring, only thing to do was look at the pattern books they had, if they had them, for like plush toy patterns or something.

I even dislike grocery shopping. I was at the store today and I get what I need, then instead of checking out and leaving, I zone out. As I'm leaving a former coworker sees me and says "How's it going?" and I'm like zombie...it takes me a second to recognize her. My thousand yard stare...

[Felix]

That happened to me the other day, an old co-worker from a couple of years ago dropped by the shop, and for the life of me I couldn't remember him. He was cool too, and we had fun hanging out. I remembered after a little while, but man.

[Renegade Felix]

My computer died, so I've been out of the loop for about a week or so, it's really weird like time has stopped and I have all this free time. Not sure when I will be back up and running yet. My car has been in the shop for like 2 weeks now, just got it back, so I can start to go look for a new computer now.

I might as well update about the girl, we're hanging out a little bit almost every day now, so we'll see.

That's pretty much it on my end, haven't been watching movies or TV since the great crash of 2018. Also it died on me just before the Mythic Legions figures went on sale. It wasn't meant to be. Yeah, just kind of thinking about life, and my place in it, and what I need to do to go to the next level. Lots of work to do. Hanging in there, peace.

[Bravo]

Good to hear. I guess. I might have a life again someday. Sounds stressful, though.

[Felix]

Well, I got my computer up and running today, hopefully it lasts for a while.

Had this back and forth business with my car and the shop but it's working good now.

The girl *sigh*, things were going good, really good...and she kind of got freaked out, not by me, but by just being committed in a relationship, she's really young, so I get it. Still it sucks and hard to deal with. I'm through the worst of it...I think.

I also read a couple books, I'm all about self help these days, meditation and that stuff, it helps me a lot. One of the books is called the Four Agreements, and it couldn't have come to me at a better time. I was a wreck for a couple of days because of how I felt about the girl, but that book fell into my hands at just the right time. I would recommend it to anyone. Life changing stuff in there.

[Felix]

And out of nowhere the unexpected happens, the girl came back and we kind of worked things out :-)
Hope it lasts as long as it can.

[Felix]

That was a short couple weeks, me and her are done. Ugh...this was rough. You wouldn't think there would be so much emotion with someone you haven't known for very long...but it felt like we knew each other forever. That made this so difficult. Good news is it's a new day and a new chapter and I don't need to carry the past with me, but man is it tough to let go.

To put things in perspective...there wasn't anything wrong with either of us, she just has goals she wants to do in her life, alone...for now. I knew this going in, and the more connected we got the more she wanted to distance herself, because it was just going to be harder for her to leave. I get it, I've been there. The strange thing is I read two different books while I was seeing her. The Four Agreements and The Alchemist. These books have been sitting around my house waiting to be read for months. When I picked up each one to read, they basically coached me along exactly what I was going through at the right time. Seriously, felt like divine intervention, like the universe or god was speaking directly to me through those books.

[Bravo]

That's a shame. All I can say, because I have such little experience in these matters I'm not helpful.

[Felix]

Thanks bro. You are helpful, very helpful...just being there man, it means a lot. I don't really like talking about it with people I work with, or even some of my friends, everybody knows each other in this town (like all towns I guess)...so, it's awkward talking to just about anyone.

Each day is a little better. On the plus side, I went surfing for the first time ever. I've been diving before, and I went boogie boarding as a kid, but I've always wanted to go surfing and never did. I pulled my groin early on, and knew I was going to have to come back in, each time I tried to hop on the board it just hurt more. Decided to just go back and I tried one last time and stood on the board for a second :-)
I think I've found my new hobby. Works really well with my late night/early morning work life as a baker. I can get up early and head to the beach before traffic ever kicks in. At least I've got something I can go do now...was bugging me for a while...just video games I'm bored with and movies I've already seen a 1000 times. After my dog died, nothing has been the same. It's weird. I used to watch Star Wars or LOTR, or any number of movies over and over, I never got tired of them. Now I can't even sit through a new movie. I also have no desire to get into a new video game. Life is weird like that I guess. Sometimes it just pushes you out the door even if you don't want to go.

Note to self: If a relationship at any point doesn't feel good and there's a serious lack of communication, just go surfing and delete that person from your phone. Don't worry about it, if they love you, they'll call you back.

[Bravo]

I just lost all my chickens. Raccoon killed them all. I killed it, but too late. Some of those chickens i've had for years. It go one two nights ago but I failed to find the spot where it was getting in the chicken house. They can squeeze in tight spaces. Even firing a .22 in a confined space still hurts your ears. Put three bullet it, but it was dark and my flashlight sucked.

Never care about anything. That's the lesson.

[Felix]

Sorry dude :-(

Your chickens were fortunate to have a good home.