The Greatest G.I. Joes and Cobras, but I'm adding a hitch

[Bravo]

Quick Kick wins almost by default. I forgot about Quarrel...who's crossed over into GI JOE via the collector's club. No Q cobras. Makes Quick Kick all around winner...unless you are swindle or Rod Hannah!

R's.

Roadblock beats out Rock'n Roll, Recondo, Red Dog, Red Star, Rampage, Rapid Fire, Repeater, Recoil, Ripcord, Rollbar, Rumbler, Red spot, Red Zone, ROBO-JOE, Rook, Rimshot, Rough'n Ready, Roll-Out, Reload and now I'm just making up names.

Cobra, comes to Range-Viper, Roadpig and Ripper. I'm going with Ripper. Sorry, Raptor...Red Ninja, Rock Viper, Royal Guard, Razor Claw, Razor Trooper...

[Felix]

lol @ making up the names

Roadblock: Agree.

Cobra R: Road Pig. I loved his character in the comics. For some reason being a Sonic Fighter made him have orange skin, tanning beds were pretty popular in the 90's. He was in the cancelled finale Ninja Force wave in 1994.

Without checking yojoe.com for references, I can safely say that the S's goes to Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow, sorry Scarlet.

[Swindle]

The problem I have with the original three dreadknoks is they all got lumped together. Road Pig does stand out more, so that's my pick.

Roadblock, no contest. The Rs got a lot of characters, but not much impact amongst them. Even Roadblock, his characters existed as a vehicle to get Rock in GIJoe. It was Rock playing Roadblock as the Rock. I don't find that character all that compelling.

There's a lot of worthy Joes in the Ss. Scarlett, Sgt. Slaughter, Snake Eyes, Shipwreck, Stalker, Speed Metal. Ok, not Speed Metal.

I'm going with Shipwreck. One of the stars of the toon. That's enough for me. Sue me if you don't like my pick.

And I'm going with Serpentor on Cobra. Just because I can.

F ninjas.

[Bravo]

Snake-Eyes, greatest for the wrong reasons. He was cool early on. Fans loved him. But when you make a mute, lone-wolf type the star of a team, there goes the friggin' team! There's a reason he was underused in the toon. The writers liked to move the story along, stopping to have someone else explain what SE is doing slows stuff down. Funnny in Renegades he wasn't even in the army!

Scarlett, a patron saint of annoying red-head girls. Damned by association to Snake-Eyes, they had to make her more ninja, too.

Stalker, ah, my brother's fav's. Got sidelined early in the toon. Became too much of a sidekick in the comics, either to Snake-eyes or Hawk.
Shipwreck, they dumped on him a bit in season 2. Before he was a bit of an ass but a heroic one...and smarter than you'd think. In season 2, he was more comic relief and lazy.
Spirit, too stereotypical? I never disliked him, though.
Shockwave, Beach-Head in blue with a hat? More of a function than a character. Not crazy about Joes being in blue.
Snow-Job, he was okay...not a figure i had growing up, but my brother did. Loses points for that.

Storm Shadow is annoying as hell. Pick a side! It was mistake to make him a Cobra again in "new sculpt era" without rebooting the whole franchise. He's there to sword block Snake-Eyes, those two can ying-yang struggle against each other while the other characters do interesting stuff.

Serpentor...still have mixed feelings about him.
Scrap-Iron, more of a named trooper. He did a few things, but nothing that couldn't have been done by another character. Fans latched onto him for some reason, maybe because he wasn't as ridiculous as other minor cobras.
Sea Slug, it would be unfair to nominate him...the greatest of Cobra Warriors...haw.

Snake-Eyes and Storm Shadow....even though they annoy me.

[Felix]

I liked Shipwreck...a lot. In fact, he and Scarlet are next in line for 1/6 customz. I got a bunch of the parts I need already. I imagined after G.I. JOE the movie, that Duke's death would have had a strong impact on all the Joe's, not just Falcon. I believe Shipwreck would have become a Master Chief Navy Seal instructor. He'd be a hardass (similar to Beachhead), but still able to keep his cool, and a sense of humor. I also believe he'd be promoted highly in the JOE chain of command.

Stalker in the comics was meant to be the TEAM leader, not just a sideline for Snake Eyes, but when you're being forced to write about a constant onslaught of new characters, it makes it difficult to focus on anything but the main character as the heart of the story. I hated that he appears like twice in the cartoon, same for Flash. Zap and Breaker got more exposure.

I'll get into the comics when I have a little more time. I've been picking up the hardcover volumes of the classic series. There is a ton of information about what Larry Hama did for G.I. JOE. The guy was incredible. I didn't realize the impact he had until now. I always knew he had a large part, but believed the bulk of creation came from the cartoon. I no longer believe that. Anyway, back on topic:

T's, I'm going with Tunnel Rat and Tomax.

[Bravo]

Tomax, yes...one half of the twins. Beats out Thrasher....never quite had a handle on him. He was this unlikeable punk jerk in the toon. A bit crazy in the comic, but actually showed some heart in those Sierra Gordo issues, but then later he tries to kill Junkyard...or was that just Buzzer. Also Torch, the leather bar Dreadnok...

Joes, Tunnel Rat is cool because he's an asian guy who isn't a martial artist. But, I feel like he was shoved down our throats more because he was Larry Hama's "avatar". As far as his function goes, he was often just another guy with a gun...which made more obvious he got special treatment. So I'm gonna be contrary and pick Torpedo.

Poor Tripwire has never gotten a new look.

[Felix]

Thrasher didn't like that Buzzer hurt Junkyard.

[Swindle]

I also liked the size difference with Tunnel Rat, that he was short.

Torpedo went down that copyright rabbit hole that annoys me, Chief Torpedo, Lt. Torpedo. Was he the first Seal on the team?

Hmmm... don't feel strongly either way, but Torpedo does serve a needed function.

Tomax, yes.... pretty easy. I do like Thrasher quiet a bit, Dreadknok driver.

So, Torpedo and Tomax. I'm fine with that.

[Bravo]

Yeah, Felix, you were right about Thrasher. Had to dig out that comic and look at it...Thrasher could smell Mutt and Junkyard in the tall grass. WTF? "Thrasher, you're a sick person. You know that?" - Monkeywrench. LOL.

U isn't too hard. UNDERTOW and Updraft. Both from 1990.

Undertow was pretty cool except his sculpting makes it so his arms cannot rest straight at his sides, also looking at him closely, he'd have to have a long neck. Has one of the smallest vintage headsculpts. They never made his scuba mask match the card art with the point tips. Never understood the one eye hole thing, either. Nice gear, but the trident seems silly...how about a spear gun? I do like him/them, but of course...frogmen were limited use figures/characters.

Updraft is as generic as late 80's Joes got. There's nothing special about his sculpt, he could be the driver of anything. Limited paint ops, 3 color uniform. Head sculpt is okay, helmet is just weird for no reason, plus giant pistol. No comic or toon usage that I know of. He's just a seat filler.

[Felix]

In the cartoon, Torpedo makes the first SEAL appearance in MASS Device. The comic, I'm not sure. I just remember the they all got used in Special Missions #1 I believe. ALthough I love the Tunnel Rat figure, he was always other kids favorites, I just liked him a lot

I'm changing my T vote for Thrasher and Torpedo. I hated the head on the figure for Thrasher, but whatever. His character, and the Thunder Machine are more memorable to me than Tomax.

U's, Undertow was cool. Never knew Updraft. Never will.

V COBRA: Viper.

V Joe: VARUJAN "BULL" AYVAZYAN AKA Taurus.

Almost done with this list, gotta say I've had a lot of fun doing this, thanks Swindle!

[Swindle]

U: Undertow and Updraft it is....

V has Venomous Maximus, what I'd call a low rent version of Serpentor. Vypra the Jinx repaint. Volcano-Viper, which I quite like for the name alone.

But yeah, its Viper, nothing for GIJoe in my book, his codename is Taurus.

[Bravo]

Viper. Sorry, Voltar.

W...Wet-Suit or Wild Bill. Wreckage, Widescope, Wild Card, Windmill, Wet Down, Windchill and White-Out are mostly nobodies.

Wild Bill, who managed to escape the vehicle driver obscurity more than any other operator.

Cobra the answer is WARWOLF. Heh.

Wild Weasel, WORMS, Wraith (figure was released as Mercenary Wraith...whatever), Wild Boar...WILD WEASEL.

2 WILD guys.

[Felix]

Wild Bill and Wild Weasel. I am a big fan of Wildcard though. I like that he breaks everything he touches in the comic. But yeah, he's kind of a nobody even then.

X: Xamot.
Y: Nothing.
Z: Zartan.
Zarana is a close second, with Zanzibar in 3rd. Zandar gets last place because he's supposed to go unnoticed, mission accomplished Zandar.

Yup, that pretty much wraps it up, it was a lot of fun guys

[Swindle]

Wild Weasel and Wild Bill, can't disagree.

No Y character as of yet.

Zartan trumps his bro/sis. I was always annoyed that Zanzibar had a Z name if he was just a Dreadknok.

Oh, Zap sneaks in as a Z Joe.

This thing peaked with the S names, I'd say. It was fun to take a look at all these characters using this format.

[Bravo]

Xamot.
Zap and Zartan. Yeah.
Funny there's 7 z characters (also Zanzibar, Zanya and Zombie-Viper) and no Y's.

Now, worst characters A-Z!

Or not.