Post by Swindle on Aug 20, 2022 10:40:09 GMT -8
Cold Shoulder
This is sort of a rehash of Satellite Down, where Cobra knocks a something out of space to gain control of, we also have a bit of Haul Down the Heavens with the setting and the use of a polar bear as a third party Cobra Commander wants to leverage to use against the Joes. Rampart and Col. Krimov (I guess this is Red Star?) manning a joint Oct Guard/GIJoe mission to use this Starcrusher weapon to take out meteors. They all know Cobra will come after it, and its very on the nose its the reason for the episode. Is taking out meteors this big a deal? They give Ramppart a generic I'm good at old arcade style video games. Makes me with for Footloose instead. The Oct Guard dude has no personality. In Sunbow, the OG apparencies were usual the center of the episode, as the tenson between both teams drive the drama. Here, this guy is just there. Both characters are very bland/about par for what DIC usually gives. "We're totally primed for some radical meteorite blasting action." Sad and grim and pathetic scripting from a fool who thinks that's how gamers in the 90s talked.
Night Creeper Leader is firmly the Storm Shadow replacement, doing a task he'd do in Sunbow, placing the Cobra device to knock it down. The Cobras the provide plot movement actions usually get to be seen as more capible (Storm Shadow, Zartan, Firefly as examples). So, I can't really bash him. He's in, does his job, and gets out, so he's not a part of any humiliation that will come. The Cobra base is just sad, and we get the gag of Cobra Commander being sick having to be up at a lame Cobra base in the cold. Sneezing all episode. This carried more weight for Destro in Excalibur. Good ole Gnawgahyde is here, a series regular, and will be cowardly and useless throughout the episode, but not self-sabotaging as Metal Head can be.
Meanwhile, we learn how lame Sub Zero is as he has a big heart and cares for polar bears who need help. We meet cubby, who is sort of an episode one off mascot animal. This does sit off a pay off later, but I feel this makes Sub Zero not really someone a kid would want to own as a action figure. He's supposed to be a solider, not some kind of foster care/veterinarian dude.
So, the Joes test this weapon out and we get some lame video game like action. Its so generic and dull, its not even worth outright hating. Its just like a crusty piece of moldy bread. Its just unpleasant, but also just sort of there. "Alright, a thousand points, five thousand,.. if I keep this us, I'll get a free game!" SHUT UP Rampart! Cobra puts their plan into action and down it goes. Anything to sideline Rampart and his generic video game talk.
Joes and Cobra both deploy. We see a mute Scoop, Low Light and eventually Sci-Fi. These would be much more interesting characters to focus on, two are legacy characters from Sunbow. Sci-Fi would have made much more sense than Rampart on the space mission. Low Light and his dower mood would be much more welcome than Sub Zero's get along gang care bear act. There's no real spark with the Joes because the screen time goes to people with no personality. I get more from Sunbow with Alpine briefly bitching about Flint to Bazooka than anything going on here. Oh yeah, the little shit comes along ala Anakin in the Phantom Menace. There's no surprises, everything beat for beat is generic and dull.
Cobra's side of thing is just vehicles with Gnawgahyde leading the way in a decent cartoon only vehicle, the Snow Shark. Its decent, but not as cool as stuff Sunbow came up with. Hurricanes do not look impressive animated. Retaliator always looks awkward as the Dragonfile replacement and showing off the claw deal looks about as lame as possible with Joes hanging on. I don't like it. LOL The blood we see is kind of shocking with Rampart. I do enjoy the Snow Shark gobbling them up. And the Snow Serpents are visually cooler than Range Vipers, Laser Vipers, etc in DIC episodes. I do like seeing them.
So, Cobra Commander has the weapon and a Joe and an Oct. Guard. The Starcurcher has a booty trap, Gnawgahyde gets to be a coward during this, Cobra Commander plays out a bluff to get Col. Krimov to de activate it. Oh we also see the rehash of the Haul Down the Heavens polar bear, here Gnawgahyde has this as a pet, Attila he's named it. Ok, so in Dragonfire, he had a pet iguana, here this bear. There's odd about how they don't want to show him as poacher hunting, so intseed its only capturing and using animals, I guess? One thing in Sunbow, they usually tried to always show Cobras using their skills. You never really see that with Gnawgahyde. When he gets scared, Cobra Commander grabs him and there's this embarrassing one arm dance they kind of do.
Sub Zero, his little friend, and Strecher who's been in this episode the entire time, but has no personality or roll, they are on the way to save the day. Cobra Commander being Cobra Commander is going to betray his deal. Of course we get the scene where the bear is gonna eat them. This is the doctor he promised for Rampart. There's just not much spark in this. Feels like Cobra Commander is going through the motions.
So, Sub Zero and friends show up just in time, Laser Vipers randomly show up, there's a bunch of them as a counter offensive to protect the base. Sadly, we lose the Snow Shark. Felt like that should have been the escape vehicle for Cobra, but noooo. The captured Joes try to get out of dodge, oh and the main Snow Serpent I see popping out of the Snow is amusing. Cobra Commander's Laser Viper group is fairly large.
Cobra Commander could take out Sub Zero here, but instead wants Attila to do it, because has Cobra Commander ever been able to have an animal eat of Joe? Its never happened. You got a big squad of Laser Vipers, mow him down! "Oh now, Sub Zero and Stretcher got here to rescue us alright, but it looks like they just ran out of replays!" Rampart, shut up! Also, now you are doing sports puns instead of video game crap. A replay is on sports, game over is for video games. Stick to one stock personality and stop trying to get in on Grid-Iron's shtick. But we also get something lame from Gnawgahyde, "ooooo, its so horrible, I can't BEAR to look!" Shut the fuck up, Gnawgahyde. The puns/jokes are so generic and dull. Of course this bear turns out to be another Sub Zero looked after, Frosty. These names are so lame. Sub Zero is lame.
"... he's better looking from a distance, too!" "I have a policy about 10 foot bears, lady, as far as I'm concerned, they can sleep anywhere they want." That scene with Flint, Lady Jaye and Duke is funny. Lady Jaye briefly tries to get a bit of romantic sentimentality, the bear shows up, Flint has had it with him after dealing with it several times, then we get Duke's dry humor. The bear, it wasn't like it was tamed or a pet or any of that shit, it just wanted to take a nap on the Whale and it paid off all the stuff Flint and Lady Jaye went through. That was proper story structure, set up and pay off. This is just, Sub Zero has animal friends. Fuck that. Sub Zero's file card makes him like he'd be more in the realm of a foil for other snow joes, he hates the cold and it makes him sour and mean, which he's helps ability in action. That character sounds interesting, but doesn't exist in DIC because we can't have nice things.
So, of course, Cobra can't keep track of the Joes, Rampart is back to controlling the Starcrucher. This is pretty much it for the Cobra base. "Its time to help our guys out. I'm all fired up and ready to get the highest score ever on the Starcrusher video game!" Cobra Commander just tells them to destroy the shuttle. So, if that happens, what is this all for Cobra Commander, you end up with no weapon and your base is damaged and its just time, money resources down the drain. "Alright, and away we go!" SHUT UP RAMPART! The one Laser Viper behind Cobra Commander cracks me up. A small moment that is actually amusing, but this cave in just makes me wish I was watching 20 Questions.
Of course the little bear takes out Cobra Commander. It just had to happen. "Cubby, leave that snake alone, we gotta get to the shuttle." There's a whinny inflection in Sub Zero's voice. Very annoying. Again, you can easily capture Cobra Commander here, but you rather just leave. We also have a brief show down between Gnawgahyde and Sub Zero. They also had a moment in The Nozone Conspiracy, is this supposed to be DIC version of Storm Shadow vs Spirit. I don't believe so. Just happenstance. Sub Zero gets to be a lead, Gnawgahyde exists as a litenant for Cobra Commander and the only Dreadnok around for the most part. So these showdowns are just about who gets screen time and not really about a thought out rivalry. Oh and we gotta make sure our villains are losers and cowards a bit. This isn't as bad at last episode, or is it? Cobra Commander is just sad here.
"I got nine hundred and ninety nine points so far. Might as well make it an even thousand!" Fuck you, Rampart. Seriously, fuck you. Cobra Commander's "Noooo" as things come crashing down is a small moment worth a chuckle. "Thanks to you meddling G.I Joes... this cold is sure to become pneumonia." So, the entire sneezing thing for Cobra Commander was just so Stretcher can make a stock doctor joke. "Take two, and call me in the morning!" The closest thing to a character traid. Just pathetic. He's not cool like Doc, Life Line has a clear moral stand. Stretcher has nothing. Here, just Snow Job's generic guy who comes along because we gotta feature someone.
Cobra Commander escapes in the most pitiful raft possible and the base crashes down. Sub Zero says good bye to Cubby and Frosty. But they didn't take those clothes off of him, its gonna get messy unless he can get out of them. Ah who gives a fuck. Its over. Thank the Lord.
2 out of 4 stars. It was very meh. I hated this loveable Sub Zero bullshit and Rampart the video gamer was dumb. Those two are the core of the episode, so its very painful.
This is sort of a rehash of Satellite Down, where Cobra knocks a something out of space to gain control of, we also have a bit of Haul Down the Heavens with the setting and the use of a polar bear as a third party Cobra Commander wants to leverage to use against the Joes. Rampart and Col. Krimov (I guess this is Red Star?) manning a joint Oct Guard/GIJoe mission to use this Starcrusher weapon to take out meteors. They all know Cobra will come after it, and its very on the nose its the reason for the episode. Is taking out meteors this big a deal? They give Ramppart a generic I'm good at old arcade style video games. Makes me with for Footloose instead. The Oct Guard dude has no personality. In Sunbow, the OG apparencies were usual the center of the episode, as the tenson between both teams drive the drama. Here, this guy is just there. Both characters are very bland/about par for what DIC usually gives. "We're totally primed for some radical meteorite blasting action." Sad and grim and pathetic scripting from a fool who thinks that's how gamers in the 90s talked.
Night Creeper Leader is firmly the Storm Shadow replacement, doing a task he'd do in Sunbow, placing the Cobra device to knock it down. The Cobras the provide plot movement actions usually get to be seen as more capible (Storm Shadow, Zartan, Firefly as examples). So, I can't really bash him. He's in, does his job, and gets out, so he's not a part of any humiliation that will come. The Cobra base is just sad, and we get the gag of Cobra Commander being sick having to be up at a lame Cobra base in the cold. Sneezing all episode. This carried more weight for Destro in Excalibur. Good ole Gnawgahyde is here, a series regular, and will be cowardly and useless throughout the episode, but not self-sabotaging as Metal Head can be.
Meanwhile, we learn how lame Sub Zero is as he has a big heart and cares for polar bears who need help. We meet cubby, who is sort of an episode one off mascot animal. This does sit off a pay off later, but I feel this makes Sub Zero not really someone a kid would want to own as a action figure. He's supposed to be a solider, not some kind of foster care/veterinarian dude.
So, the Joes test this weapon out and we get some lame video game like action. Its so generic and dull, its not even worth outright hating. Its just like a crusty piece of moldy bread. Its just unpleasant, but also just sort of there. "Alright, a thousand points, five thousand,.. if I keep this us, I'll get a free game!" SHUT UP Rampart! Cobra puts their plan into action and down it goes. Anything to sideline Rampart and his generic video game talk.
Joes and Cobra both deploy. We see a mute Scoop, Low Light and eventually Sci-Fi. These would be much more interesting characters to focus on, two are legacy characters from Sunbow. Sci-Fi would have made much more sense than Rampart on the space mission. Low Light and his dower mood would be much more welcome than Sub Zero's get along gang care bear act. There's no real spark with the Joes because the screen time goes to people with no personality. I get more from Sunbow with Alpine briefly bitching about Flint to Bazooka than anything going on here. Oh yeah, the little shit comes along ala Anakin in the Phantom Menace. There's no surprises, everything beat for beat is generic and dull.
Cobra's side of thing is just vehicles with Gnawgahyde leading the way in a decent cartoon only vehicle, the Snow Shark. Its decent, but not as cool as stuff Sunbow came up with. Hurricanes do not look impressive animated. Retaliator always looks awkward as the Dragonfile replacement and showing off the claw deal looks about as lame as possible with Joes hanging on. I don't like it. LOL The blood we see is kind of shocking with Rampart. I do enjoy the Snow Shark gobbling them up. And the Snow Serpents are visually cooler than Range Vipers, Laser Vipers, etc in DIC episodes. I do like seeing them.
So, Cobra Commander has the weapon and a Joe and an Oct. Guard. The Starcurcher has a booty trap, Gnawgahyde gets to be a coward during this, Cobra Commander plays out a bluff to get Col. Krimov to de activate it. Oh we also see the rehash of the Haul Down the Heavens polar bear, here Gnawgahyde has this as a pet, Attila he's named it. Ok, so in Dragonfire, he had a pet iguana, here this bear. There's odd about how they don't want to show him as poacher hunting, so intseed its only capturing and using animals, I guess? One thing in Sunbow, they usually tried to always show Cobras using their skills. You never really see that with Gnawgahyde. When he gets scared, Cobra Commander grabs him and there's this embarrassing one arm dance they kind of do.
Sub Zero, his little friend, and Strecher who's been in this episode the entire time, but has no personality or roll, they are on the way to save the day. Cobra Commander being Cobra Commander is going to betray his deal. Of course we get the scene where the bear is gonna eat them. This is the doctor he promised for Rampart. There's just not much spark in this. Feels like Cobra Commander is going through the motions.
So, Sub Zero and friends show up just in time, Laser Vipers randomly show up, there's a bunch of them as a counter offensive to protect the base. Sadly, we lose the Snow Shark. Felt like that should have been the escape vehicle for Cobra, but noooo. The captured Joes try to get out of dodge, oh and the main Snow Serpent I see popping out of the Snow is amusing. Cobra Commander's Laser Viper group is fairly large.
Cobra Commander could take out Sub Zero here, but instead wants Attila to do it, because has Cobra Commander ever been able to have an animal eat of Joe? Its never happened. You got a big squad of Laser Vipers, mow him down! "Oh now, Sub Zero and Stretcher got here to rescue us alright, but it looks like they just ran out of replays!" Rampart, shut up! Also, now you are doing sports puns instead of video game crap. A replay is on sports, game over is for video games. Stick to one stock personality and stop trying to get in on Grid-Iron's shtick. But we also get something lame from Gnawgahyde, "ooooo, its so horrible, I can't BEAR to look!" Shut the fuck up, Gnawgahyde. The puns/jokes are so generic and dull. Of course this bear turns out to be another Sub Zero looked after, Frosty. These names are so lame. Sub Zero is lame.
"... he's better looking from a distance, too!" "I have a policy about 10 foot bears, lady, as far as I'm concerned, they can sleep anywhere they want." That scene with Flint, Lady Jaye and Duke is funny. Lady Jaye briefly tries to get a bit of romantic sentimentality, the bear shows up, Flint has had it with him after dealing with it several times, then we get Duke's dry humor. The bear, it wasn't like it was tamed or a pet or any of that shit, it just wanted to take a nap on the Whale and it paid off all the stuff Flint and Lady Jaye went through. That was proper story structure, set up and pay off. This is just, Sub Zero has animal friends. Fuck that. Sub Zero's file card makes him like he'd be more in the realm of a foil for other snow joes, he hates the cold and it makes him sour and mean, which he's helps ability in action. That character sounds interesting, but doesn't exist in DIC because we can't have nice things.
So, of course, Cobra can't keep track of the Joes, Rampart is back to controlling the Starcrucher. This is pretty much it for the Cobra base. "Its time to help our guys out. I'm all fired up and ready to get the highest score ever on the Starcrusher video game!" Cobra Commander just tells them to destroy the shuttle. So, if that happens, what is this all for Cobra Commander, you end up with no weapon and your base is damaged and its just time, money resources down the drain. "Alright, and away we go!" SHUT UP RAMPART! The one Laser Viper behind Cobra Commander cracks me up. A small moment that is actually amusing, but this cave in just makes me wish I was watching 20 Questions.
Of course the little bear takes out Cobra Commander. It just had to happen. "Cubby, leave that snake alone, we gotta get to the shuttle." There's a whinny inflection in Sub Zero's voice. Very annoying. Again, you can easily capture Cobra Commander here, but you rather just leave. We also have a brief show down between Gnawgahyde and Sub Zero. They also had a moment in The Nozone Conspiracy, is this supposed to be DIC version of Storm Shadow vs Spirit. I don't believe so. Just happenstance. Sub Zero gets to be a lead, Gnawgahyde exists as a litenant for Cobra Commander and the only Dreadnok around for the most part. So these showdowns are just about who gets screen time and not really about a thought out rivalry. Oh and we gotta make sure our villains are losers and cowards a bit. This isn't as bad at last episode, or is it? Cobra Commander is just sad here.
"I got nine hundred and ninety nine points so far. Might as well make it an even thousand!" Fuck you, Rampart. Seriously, fuck you. Cobra Commander's "Noooo" as things come crashing down is a small moment worth a chuckle. "Thanks to you meddling G.I Joes... this cold is sure to become pneumonia." So, the entire sneezing thing for Cobra Commander was just so Stretcher can make a stock doctor joke. "Take two, and call me in the morning!" The closest thing to a character traid. Just pathetic. He's not cool like Doc, Life Line has a clear moral stand. Stretcher has nothing. Here, just Snow Job's generic guy who comes along because we gotta feature someone.
Cobra Commander escapes in the most pitiful raft possible and the base crashes down. Sub Zero says good bye to Cubby and Frosty. But they didn't take those clothes off of him, its gonna get messy unless he can get out of them. Ah who gives a fuck. Its over. Thank the Lord.
2 out of 4 stars. It was very meh. I hated this loveable Sub Zero bullshit and Rampart the video gamer was dumb. Those two are the core of the episode, so its very painful.
